Author: Julie Newcombe

Just some thoughts as we empty out my lovely in-laws ’ house.

Am I dismantling a life?
Do I keep or do I bin?
Maybe the charity shop
Will take these odd items in.

So many loved little things,
All of them used and enjoyed,
So solemnly collected,
Years of toiling and reward.

What are all these objects worth
That gave pleasure for a while?
A source of pride that’s priceless,
A witness to a lifestyle.

Now discarded and for what?
Time won’t wait for memories.
Not for them and not for me,
No right path, no guarantees.

The pulse of life continues,
That was then and this is now.
Dispose of our collections,
Love lasts longest anyhow.

The language born of love is our language;

No words spoken, just the gentle passing

Of a feeling to another heart through eyes.

Finding expression in a quieter world,

Woven with meanings so profound

That thoughts still and words fade

Into the ultimate of tongues: silence.

With you, where is the future for Humanity?
You, who will not look beyond your selfish desires,
You with your indolent mind and shallow thinking,
Who prefers the words of cheats and hateful liars.

Trauma and disability are not chosen,
But you choose not to deal with that and turn away
And we become the scroungers and the unworthy.
It’s not your problem after all. Well, not today.

But our futures lie in the imagination
Of those who suffer the struggle and count the cost.
They would be the thinkers and the problem solvers,
They who endure to live when everything is lost.

In seeking to exist, there is a greater strength
Than merely strolling through each day as if it’s owed.
When you have so much and still only think of you,
Humanity has little need of you to grow.

Some thoughts on the fact that autistic people and people with learning disabilities aren’t really listened to when it comes to living their lives.

You can watch the video here: https://youtu.be/dRlXfHXBHP4

I didn’t ask for your approval,
I didn’t ask you to decide.
I’ll make my own decisions, thank you,
And let you join me for the ride.
This is a life I quite like living,
So don’t pretend that you know best.
You haven’t felt the way I’m feeling,
They never put you to this test.

Why must you take over my wishes?
Why must you judge me with a glance?
Is it so hard to stop and listen?
I’m only asking for a chance.
So don’t pretend you’ve got the answers
Because you haven’t got a clue.
Don’t feel the need to stick your oar in
When you just don’t know what to do.

See I can tell you what good looks like
Tho I do wonder if you care.
For it’s not years of aimless blather
And it’s not arrogant hot air.
It is the heart and soul of people,
It is believing that we’re real.
We are your friends, we are your neighbours,
Yet it’s our right to be you steal.

Well you can try to break my spirit
And you can suffocate my soul,
But you won’t ever stop me dreaming;
These dreams are perfect and they’re whole.
And I will keep my courage burning,
While I’ve got living yet to share
Because your games and broken thinking
Will never take me anywhere.

Another day, another shower,
Another cup of tea
I’m counting raindrops by the hour,
The sun won’t shine on me.
So if I can, I’ll make a plan
To see a robin sing.
I’m learning now exactly how
To see the simple things.

A trace of blue, a flash of green,
Those little sounds I know
The blossom on a roadside tree
Where light might dare to go
And though as such, it’s not that much
This day in early Spring.
I’m learning now exactly how
To see the simple things.

And when the questions will not end
And dark dreams fill the night,
So much of life we must suspend
With still no end in sight.
I’m reassured there’s always more
This earth has yet to bring
I’m learning now exactly how
To see the simple things.

For my mum…

In the end we are but children,
Youthful hearts and starry eyes
Even though there’s no tomorrow
And our spirit yearns to fly.

For our end is our beginning
In a burst of brilliant light
That joyfully surges skywards
And lays waste the grief of night.

And for those of us remaining
Left with memories none can steal,
Know that shadows cannot find us,
Know that endless love is real.

In the music of the blackbird
Through a rosy evening sky,
She is there, she’ll never leave us
For her song can never die.

This is for my beautiful friend, Dannielle, who has spent twelve years locked away in psychiatric hospitals simply for being autistic.

Throw me anywhere you choose
If it’s keeping you amused.
I’ve got nothing left to lose,
I’ve got walking in my shoes.

Send me anywhere you will.
I can keep the pace until
You get lost just standing still
On your bleak and barren hill.

I am strong and I’ll not bend
And you’ll never comprehend
How I’ll strive, how I’ll transcend
While you rot in your dead end.

So right here, right now I choose
To dismiss the rules you use
And the power you abuse,
I’ve got walking in my shoes.

These are the lyrics to a song I wrote a few years ago…about which my lovely brother has just reminded me…

As horizons unwind on our road through life’s design,
Paths we thought we would find vanish fron the sunlight.
What was steadfast and clear now seems pale and insincere,
Turned away from the day into night.

When the light starts to fade and bewildered steps have strayed
To a path fate has laid where the night is darkest.
In the world’s lonely dreams, we find nothing’s what it seems.
How to choose, win or lose, wrong from right.

Lonely road.
Seems an endless struggle with this load.
Don’t take much for tired tears to take a hold,
Dreams that used to burn are slowly left to turn to cold.

There is still one small flame glowing brightly all the same,
And where shadows remain, dreams could yet be stirring.
Let your heart guide your sight as you walk towards the light.
Do you fear? Not a thing.
Can you hear what the dreamers sing?
It’s a song of hope they bring here tonight.

You can see it in their eyes
When the dreamers’ dreams are lost, unrealised.
And while they shake bewildered heads in disbelief,
The cynics dance around their grief.

You can breathe it in the air,
Yearning energy that’s never really there.
And when the doubters cast their darkness once again,
You try and shake the stench in vain.

You can hear them on the breeze,
Whispered judgements that can flip and dip and tease.
And even though you didn’t do the things they say,
They’re bound to judge you anyway.

You can sense it in the grime,
Tasteless shallow talk that never learnt to rhyme,
That sends a fragile goodness smashing to the ground
Where newborn dreams are never found.

You can touch them for a while,
Shadow people with a fake, beguiling smile.
Then watch your blackened hand fall helpless to your side
And wonder why on earth you tried.

When, in your life, you control the lives of others,
Minutiae are yours to shift and sway.
When you choose to wound your sisters and your brothers
Whilst looking for some idle games to play.

Thus you torture fellow humans as they languish,
You stand above them dangling dregs of hope.
And then, when they try to rise above their anguish
To reach to you, you cruelly jerk the rope.

What if you were drowning and your victims found you?
Are they the ones who’d stop to save your plight?
In the cold and helpless darkness that surrounds you,
You’d cry to them, ‘please help me find the light.’

Will they listen to the words your rule book teaches,
No empathy, just sanction, bleak and grim?
And how long til someone sees your plight and reaches
Or will they just remind you, sink or swim?

For that hand you ask to save you in that hour,
That soul that sits beside you while you weep
Is the one that you tormented with your power,
The one whom your face tortures when they sleep.

Better hope that when the darkness comes to claim you,
A crisis comes that takes away control,
Hope the ones who come to help you will not blame you,
But give you the humanity you stole.